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My Old Records Play In My Head

Old Records Spin Me Out Of Control

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For some the best way to get them off track is put them in a car, in heavy traffic, and see how they respond.

I’m not good in traffic but the real test for me is the computer.

I know just enough to get me in trouble and yesterday I was put to the test.

A Malware warning came on my computer yesterday so I tried to fix it.

Ended up with my computer not being able to connect to the internet.

I was on the phone with AppleCare twice and they couldn’t fix it.

They set me up with an appointment in Missoula, 2.5 hours away, to have a look at my computer.

I called my neighbor Nick who works for the internet company we use, Nick is also my next door neighbor.

He was on his way home from Helena when he stopped in my office, got out his computer and went to work.

In 30 minutes Nick had reconfigured the coding and my internet was back.

I can’t believe how smart some people are and how little I really understand about life online.

I have two points to make. One is we need specialized folks like Nick in our world who are willing to just stop by and do what they do.

My second thought is how quickly my darkest fears came out during the episode.

I was blaming myself for the problem, feeling like I was so dumb I got myself into this mess.

I was so beside myself I couldn’t concentrate, any task of the day was gone my whole focus was fixing what I had broken. If I didn’t fix it I was a failure.

This is Ricky rising to the surface.

It’s the kid in me who still believes he’s a screw up and still getting by, not on what he knows but by hiding.

In moments like that I feel like a fake. I feel like I’m always screwing up and I’m afraid to fix things because, in my mind, I always mess them up.

It is interesting how God gives us chance after chance, to show us, we can do things and don’t need to panic.

I came home feeling pretty down. I don’t like to see that side of myself. I keep thinking I’ll grow out of it….someday.

Sure, I’m better than I used to be but sometimes I wish Little Ricky would go away.

I’m thankful for people like Nick. He is not afraid to dig in and try to fix anything.

Funny how God gave me Nick as a neighbor huh?

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God gives each us talents and the ability to use those talents for His glory. We have to just recognize those talents and trust Him to give us the opportunity to use them. I surely don't see you as a screw-up, and neither does God. I could no more do what you do than fly to the moon. But, give me broken furniture and other broken items in need of repair and His talents shine through me. - M

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