sponsor: CrisDental Family Dentistry & Denture Center Eugene, Oregon
The Boy In The Dream
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I’m sitting with a therapist in a quiet room when she says “ I’ve got something I want you to try”.
The reason for being in the room is layered like an onion peel but on this day I was stuck in the land of forgiveness or lack there of.
The therapist knew my gift of storytelling so she told me to close my eyes.
She asked what do you see?
I’m in a room with Jesus, me as a man and my 10 year old self.
What’s happening she asked?
The little boy is crying and wants my attention.
Jesus is consoling him.
What are you doing she asked?
I’m refusing to hug the little boy.
Why she asks?
Because I hate him. He’s a cry baby. Everyone bullies him. He’s dead to me and I don’t want him in my life.
What’s happening now she continues?
He’s crying trying to get me to hug him but I refuse.
Wait I say.
Jesus is hugging the little kid.
He’s holding his hand and guiding him over to me.
Now what she asks?
Jesus is showing me this kid needs me.
But back in the therapy room I’m resisting.
Why won’t you give him what he needs, what he wants she asks?
I hate him and accepting him means accepting all the horrible things that happened to me.
Then in the dream Jesus wraps his arms around me and the boy.
By this time I’m sobbing.
The boy is calming down.
His hysterical cries are a whimper and all of the sudden our whimpering is one and so are we.
Why do I tell you this story?
I honestly don’t know.
Seeing the painting of the boy at the art museum hit me hard.
I feel a new thing is forming in me and sharing real life is the next thing to really “get real”.
In order to find ourselves we sometimes must remind ourselves of the past and of what is done.
The older I get the closer I come to understanding this crazy thing called purpose.
We must remind ourselves in the midst of a battle that we are not trapped but in process.
Like the onion skin finding ourselves is usually discovered layer by layer never expecting to actually reach the core.
So here we go into the unknown. There is nothing to fear. I’ve spent my life in the unknown but somehow now it doesn’t scare me.