Father’s Day Is A Weird One For Me
I’m not a huge fan of “Hallmark Holidays” you know the ones designed to sell Hallmark Cards? LOL
But this blog is not about that it’s about Father’s Day.
I seem to get a little gloomy on Father’s Day.
I’m sure that stems from years of trying to buy a card for my dad that was honest but also said something that would make him happy.
I’d read through cards that talked about things I didn’t know, or feel or even understand about the relationship between a father and son.
I use to get jealous of guys that talked about their dads in ways that had no remorse, anger or abandonment issues associated with their dads.
I thought they were lying or making it up which is why looking on social media this morning made me a little sick.
Last night Jess, our youngest, made a point of coming to Townsend to have dinner and stay the night, to help me celebrate Father’s Day.
Jake is in Mexico so he’s got an excuse LOL.
But that small gesture means more than my kid will ever understand.
Because in my 30’s I went to therapy over “dad issues”.
As much as I didn’t like the relationship we had, I was turning into my father and I had to stop it.
Three long years it took to unravel my misconceptions about a dad and allow my heavenly father to show me what a real father is all about.
Now I understand my dad did the best he could with what he had.
Oh, it still hurts a little as I write these words and think about him, us, my boys.
I am not the perfect dad but perfection is not my goal.
God isn’t looking for perfect men, He’s looking for men who are willing to lay it all on the line to end the repetitive sins of the father and create new life with a new attitude and a dependence on the only one fit to give advice, our heavenly father.
So, happy Father’s Day dad, I get it.
You tried as best you could and I thank you for what you gave me.
To my boys, wow, you are better men than I ever thought could come from me.
And to my real Father, as I sit at your feet and look up at your majesty, I am finally learning to trust a father with everything.
You will fight for me.
You will hold me up without criticism and instead of pointing out my defeats you are always there saying “Get up buddy, you got this and if anyone tries to stop you they will have to fight me first.”
Now, that’s a father and that is something no Hallmark Card just doesn’t have the words to say.
Happy Father’s Day.